Dear Diary,

Today was to be the Big Movie Day downtown, where we were to AT LAST going watch the latest Mission Impossible. I’ve been waiting. I told everyone I was going. Chemo be damned – if I wasn’t feeling well enough, I was determined to just go with my mother-in-law’s walker.

I was going no matter what.

I am a huge Mission Impossible fan. Tom Cruise makes me happy with this stuff. Very happy.

Then the crushing reality: I’m in Germany, and the original tone (read: un-dubbed) version of Mission Impossible is only showing later at night. Not during the day when I’m still functional. Not during hours when I’ll be reliably awake.

I’ve been choking back tears all morning. It is – it really is – a big deal for me, that this plan has fallen through. Being in chemo means I have to seriously plan a week in advance so that I can prepare. It takes a lot out of me to just go into public and be seen. It’s exhausting, especially in the summer, with heat beating down on my tender egg of a head.

There’s a reason chemo patients are always covered up, regardless of the heat. Any sun burns us up to a crisp, in no time flat.

I’m hoping that perhaps next week, there will be some movie theatre somewhere near enough to us that will show my movie at a doable hour (for me). Sunday Matinee? Come on, people! Let’s do this.

Until tomorrow,