Dear Diary,

Early this morning, I woke at 4:30 with a mosquito buzzing around my face. I did not want to be awake, but my dreams had been about bad memories I’ve been working through this week. So I did not want to try ignoring the mosquito’s buzz.

I pulled up my sleeping mask and strong beams of moonlight were streaming into the room, filling it up so I could easily see.

When I came back from the bathroom, I looked outside at the moon. My mom had sent me an email letting me know that this moon was special. It was both a supermoon and a blue moon. A blue supermoon.

I opened the balcony door and watched the moon. My feet were getting cold, my face and neck exposed to the fresh, pre-dawn air. I found a heart on the moon. I changed my stance to see if it vanished, but it didn’t. It was unwavering. I wondered if there was something on my eyes, like an eyelash or something. A bit of fuzz. I closed my eyes for a little longer and reopened them. Still there.

The moon’s heart reminded me of the white heart that had been on my cheek earlier this month, on the 10th. That came at the end of my chemo treatments. I only have antibody treatments left.

This morning, the last day of August, marks an end to something else very difficult that I’ve been working through – also for the past three years, just like my cancer. All the nightmarish things from my past have been unveiled – I believe I’ve uncovered and dealt with everything there was. This morning, I felt a certain calm – the tension in my chest eased.

It’s done. I’m through it. I’ve made it to the other side and now I’m free. If there’s more, I can handle it. Not like I’m shutting the door on that. But I really feel like it’s just over – I feel lighter. Much lighter.

I thought about taking a picture, but I’m a terrible photographer. The pictures are from online, provided freely. I’ve marked the heart shape. These aren’t quite the angle – not quite what I saw, but they’re close. The moon was much, much brighter, glowing.

It’s a very good way to start my day.

See you tomorrow,