Dear Diary,

Just done at the cardiologist. All clear. Now sitting at the nearest cafe across the street, waiting for My Darling to get out of his meeting so he can pick me up.

There are two women working here at the – well, it’s a bakery. It isn’t really a cafe. I’m drinking a coffee, black. There is no milk alternative here. It’s that old school sort of place so common in Germany. A crew of construction workers are sitting at the outside tables despite the rain so they can smoke cheap cigarettes between gulps of mediocre coffee and inexpensive baked goods. It’s a strange comfort, this familiar scene.

One of the bakery workers is obese, the younger one is morbidly obese. I see their swollen inflammation and understand fully the pain they’re carrying.

I wish I could help them, tell them what I experienced with my own struggles with obesity. I’ve learned so much over the years about health and how to take care of my body. I wish I could just give it to everyone, this knowledge.

I can tell at a glance that the young gal’s lymphatic system is clogged and that exercise wouldn’t actually help her trim down at all. She has to clean her diet and clear her lymphs first, but I bet most doctors don’t even know that. Her whole body is under duress and I know that a drastic change in her lifestyle would relieve her a ton of pain – both right now and of course down the road.

But I know too that change is something people have to choose, and even fellow cancer patients facing the same sort of wake-up call do not choose to answer that call. They don’t take hold of their second chance, so to speak. They continue to smoke, eat garbage – I’ve even seen chemo patients sitting in the chemo chair eating heavy junk food. It’s shocking to me, but there’s nothing I can do.

There’s nothing I could say that would get heard. It’s something I’ve thought a lot about and on occasion, I’ve taken a stab at saying something. It doesn’t work. The only time it works is when someone asks me a question that I can then answer. It’s the only way they’ll listen at all. I don’t honestly know if they’ll follow – but it’s the only way I’ve found where people don’t put up walls.

Darling is here. See you tomorrow,